The Library
by mchfltn
Summary: "That was… that was… that never should've happened." She tried to escape from me once again, but she still can't. "Well, a part of me agrees with you while the other part disagrees."


This is my first attempt at writing a Dramione fic and my first story in years so please bear with me. I just thought about this and it'll be like a gift/tribute because if I remember correctly, it's been a year since I started shipping them.

University is going to start next week which means life is about to be hard on me again, so less time for me to read and be on tumblr.

And also, this is for my closest friends, _Eyie_ and _Pey_ and _Darien_. Good luck with college, guys. I miss you already.

I am the crappiest storyteller, so don't say I didn't warn you.

But anyways, enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: J.K. Rowling owns the names of the characters. I just borrowed them for this story. The plot is mine though.

* * *

She twirls her hair unconsciously when reading.

Her finger gathers strands of her hair and loops them. She does it again and again after her now messier curls eventually escape. She has been doing so for the last ten minutes.

She is hunched over the desk, elbows propped up. Her words form silently over the words as she scanned them with her bright caramel orbs. They will move from little 'o's' to flat 'm's'. My eyes track them hungrily. I swear she had just read that certain passage twice already. I've been watching her movements carefully, especially her lips, since she shifted for the umpteenth time.

Maybe she's just as distracted as I am.

Especially after what happened a year or so ago.

"Granger."

No response.

"Granger. Stop pretending that you are so engrossed with what you are reading. You have read that sentence three times already and I can tell that you do not understand any word of it." I smirked triumphantly when her eyes stop moving over the pages. She waited for twenty seconds before finally lifting her gaze, and staring right back at me.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" She closed the folder with the files she was studying and set them aside. We're at the Ministry library. It's already a quarter after six in the evening and most of the lights are turned off. Only a few to our side and those by the doors illuminate the area. Almost all the tables are emptied, except for the one at the front. It is occupied by two rather good looking witches who work as my own assistant and the other one for the Minister. Being the Head of the Magical Law Enforcement, I get to have someone prepare me coffee in the morning, arrange my schedule and generally, someone to order around. I admit she looks pretty enough for my taste, and I caught her looking at me with glances meant to seduce, and her voice always drops down to almost a purr when she talks to me alone in my office. But I never really paid her attention since I do not like any complications at work. After the war, most of us were employed by the Ministry and given works as secretaries and assistants. That way, we could be trained personally and directly by battered old wizards. When they thought we're ready enough, we were given real work in the ministry. And some of us, like me, were lucky enough to be given jobs as Heads of the Department. Apparently, the old Heads are all tired after what happened with the war. And scared, particularly with how Voldemort controlled the Ministry. So, it is with pleasure that they let us handle the Departments and hope that we can do better than them, especially with what we've contributed in the war.

After that night in the Astronomy Tower, I was scared the Dark Lord would go after me and my family so I begged Professor Snape to help me find the Order. My Father wasn't really relieved when I told him my plan to change sides. He refused to go. He said that the Dark Lord will know where to find us no matter what, that we would be in greater danger if we leave and get caught than if we stay. I told him that anything would be better than staying and waiting for the Dark Lord to kill you. Or worse, break you apart.

My mother was also incapable of giving me a straight answer when I asked her if she plans to come with me. I told her that Professor already contacted the Order and that they are willing to accept me, even my family, if we would have a use for them. I think they're planning to get everything I know about battle plans and names, but I honestly don't know anything. The Dark Lord doesn't like me. He only tolerated me because of my Father. And now that I failed him, even my family's wealth won't be able to help me get back in his good graces. So I just made up my mind to fight alongside with the Order and that suicidal Potter just to have a use for them. My parents could just stay at a house or while everyone's gone to a battle or they could come and show their defiance to the Dark Lord.

But my mother also refused me. Even after all my begging. She just won't come with me and leave my father behind. But she said I could go. They told me to go, that I'll be safer without them. Of course I reacted violently. I yelled at them. All the reasons why we should all go and why would they think I will leave them came out of my mouth in almost a scream. My mother had tears running down her eyes, her face old and uncoloured unlike before. And she just smiled sadly at me. "Because," she said, "they might be able to forgive you. You, who didn't have any choice about this from the beginning, but they could never forgive us, the people who put you in this position." She walked over to me and embraced me. Hard, like I've always wished she'd held me before. And then she whispered to my ear, "I'm sorry."

A week after that and I am with the order. Everyone still regards me with hostility and I can hear all their thoughts about me in their minds. But I don't really care. As long as no one talks to me, I'd rather deal with their constant stares and the way they always wait for me to fuck things up so they will have a reason to hex me out the door rather than have Voldemort standing by my dead tortured body.

Weeks turn to months, and months turn to a year. One night, almost a month after the Golden Trio left the safe house we were occupying, Lupin came rushing in through the backdoor without a care about our usual questioning procedures and said that it is happening. Now. After he said that everyone seemed to go still for a minute and if not for Lupin shouting out orders, we wouldn't have known what to do. As fast as we could, without splinching ourselves, we apparated to the boundaries of Hogwarts, where we easily saw the battlefield. There are already a lot of wounded and dead. We, Longbottom, Lovegood, Thomas, Brown, Finnegan, the Weasley Twins, headed by Lupin, immediately went to join them in the middle of the crowd. Hexes and curses came flying around. With all the bodies lying on the ground it is even more difficult to concentrate and aim on opponents because of the fear of stepping on them. That night was the most gruelling of my life. My shoulders and arms hurt of strain and I can feel my energy go with every spell I fire at hooded figures. Their numbers never seem to lessen. It is only the thought of surviving the night and of waking up tomorrow without the dark to contrast the light keeps me going. So I just ruthlessly finish off all the enemies that came my way, even old school housemates. Even Crabbe and Goyle. I'd have them dead by my own hands than of those self-righteous Gryffindors who would surely make them pay by putting them in Azkaban for the rest of their life, or worse, subject them with the Dementor's Kiss. An hour before dawn broke, the battlefield went still. Everyone stopped fighting. Everyone stopped and took a look at the two reasons why this is all happening. Potter stood there with Voldemort aiming his wand at him, and him also aiming his wand at him. Two spells. That's all it took to finish everything.

When it's all done, I thought of my parents. What could have happened to them? I haven't seen them that night. A part of me hopes they escaped Voldemort's wrath by playing a fool. Maybe they told him they don't know what happened to me after the night in the tower, and begged him for his forgiveness. Maybe he still found uses for them. But a part of me feels that they hadn't made it. If they live, what's going to happen to them? It's better now that they're gone. At least they won't have to worry anymore.

After that, we were ordered by the new Minister, Shacklebolt, to go back to Hogwarts and continue our education. No one can disobey him because, what is left for us to do anyway? Now that the war is done, we all ought to go back to school and live like before.

So along with the Golden Trio and all the other seventh years, after a month of putting things back together, we were welcomed back to Hogwarts. Things aren't the way it used to be. Everything has changed because of the war. Only a few Slytherins have come with me. Zabini, Nott, Greengrass, Bulstrode, Pansy and a few younger years. They aren't sentenced to Azkaban because they weren't Death Eaters. Only their fathers, who all died in the war. And during the battle, the older ones fought for Potter's side. So there's nothing against us. Little by little, we're started to be viewed better than before, seeing as we've fought on the side of Light. For most of them it feels enough.

Idly, I twirl the quill in my hands. While Granger was reading, I was supposed to finish writing up the draft for the contract. She is the Head of the Department of Care for Magical Creatures, and she had this project wherein we collaborate and she surprised me by saying I get to write the contract while she presents them to the higher authorities. She said she'll handle everything else after I submit the contract to her. But since her shifting always pulls me out of my focus, I just decided to stop trying to finish it and just watch her.

"What are you on about?" She said annoyingly. She returned her attention to the books. Obviously, I still don't have her undivided attention.

So I try to be real with her.

"You're still the same." Her gaze came back to me. Her eyes widen a little, and then an eyebrow shot up.

"What?"

"I said you're still the same."

I can hear her brain working out what I just repeated to her. Granger has that look on: brows furrowed in concentration, eyes narrowed, and even that lip biting thing on. Her face is painted with confusion.

"What are you talking about, Malfoy?" Her face even grew agitated. I can tell she really is irked by me.

But instead of answering, I just fixed my stare at her. I looked her over. Her hair is still the same bushy tangle of brown curls, although a bit more tamed. Her eyes are still the same passionate orbs that twinkle whenever she found something amusing or interesting. Her body, hidden under those baggy Ministry robes, is perfect. I've seen it during functions and charity balls, and Merlin, did I almost drool at her sight. But instead of showing them off at work, she still prefers to dress hideously, with large loose robes and unattractive suits. I bet it's the Weasley girl who made her wear those absolutely stunning gowns at events. Too bad Granger doesn't realize that she looks so gorgeous and beautiful in them. Not that I only find her attractive when she wears them. Even when she wears the ugliest work outfits when all the other female workers here come to work looking like they are going somewhere else by wearing everything stylish and fashionable, it's only Granger who really caught my attention.

Sure, I've always had a fling or two with different women for the last year, but it's Granger who I really see whenever I close my eyes. She has the most charming smile ever. And her kindness melts even the hardest of hearts. I've never admitted this out loud, but I find Hermione Granger attractive. Attractive not only physically but over-all. She is the most broad-minded witch I've ever known. No one could compare to her. She fights for the rights of helpless creatures, and she tries to see the goodness in everybody, because she believes that no one is capable of being that evil. I'm not calling her naïve. She'd been through the war like me, and she knows that not everyone could forgive and see past the outer wall of someone's personality. But she tries. She tries so hard to make a difference, because that's who she is. Take that away and she'll just be like the many others who had either given up on their beliefs, or never really tried to go and make a stand for it.

When she realized I've been staring at her for quite sometimes already, she stands up, sigh, and walk over to the rows of shelves at the back of the library. I quickly stood up too and made to follow her. But that's when I hear a small sound. It's now I remember the two women at the front. I chuckled. I'll make it clear to them that I only have one witch in my mind. When I reached the shelf where Granger stopped and tried to make the show of pretending to look for a book, she glanced at my way.

"What are your assistant and her friend doing here?" She asked. Though she tried to make it sound nonchalant, I can hear curiosity and suspicion in it.

"As far as I know, this is a library. And people go here to read, or research." I answered. She looked at me with narrowed eyes again. And her answer is laced with sarcasm, and a fake smile. "Oh, I'm sorry Malfoy. I obviously forgot about that because I honestly think they are here for another reason besides reading. I can see them following you around when they don't have anything better to do. And I can also say that I've never seen them here before, or that I think they aren't the type to bore themselves with books."

Touché.

I chuckled.

"Well, don't ask me. Ask them what they're doing here. If they went here to stalk me, or ambush me, that's them. I've nothing to do with it." I challenged her.

"No thanks, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood for your childish antics." She returned her gaze at the books and put up her serious face once more.

"Personally, I don't think I mind their presence at all. Why do you anyway?" A corner of my mouth curved slightly. With that, she hastily turned to look at me, and her face schooled its annoyed expression once more. But this one is different. It's the look that says I-have-reached-my-limit-and-if-you-don't-sod-off-I'll-hex-you-so-help-me. I really love studying her face, don't I?

"Malfoy, if you don't want to lose any of your vital organs, I advise you leave me alone already." She turned her body away from the shelf and towards me, with both hands at her hips. Her face, her expression screams "so fucking irritated". She's deadly still and I can say that she's really serious about her threat. And her eyes, they are burning with that raw energy I've always liked whenever she's angry or mad about something.

I took a step. And a step. And another step towards her. She looks quite unfazed by this, but I can see her strong façade losing gradually. When I'm only a few centimetres away, her serious, angry face was replaced by confusion, and a bit of fear.

"Stay away from me, ferret." She looked at me up and down, and I can say she's really itching to get her wand out and blast me off.

"My, my. Going back to name-calling, aren't we?" I moved even closer to her until our bodies are almost close. "But what if I say I don't like? And I don't care about your hexes. I know you wouldn't dare to hurt my beautiful body." I smirked at her. But I underestimated her. Her hands moved from her hips to the pocket in her robes, and just when her fingers touched the handle of her wand, I reacted immediately.

Her lips taste heavenly. Like cherries. Supple and soft. They feel good against my mine. At first she gave a sound of protest, but I worked my lips carefully and thoroughly and I had her succumbing to my charms. I wound an arm around her waist, the other in her curls, raking through it. They're actually soft and then I realized that I've always liked the way it looks. Her hands also moved, but they stopped just in front of her, resting on my chest.

"Malfoy."

She whispered my name over my lips. I continue to revel in her sweet taste and try to run my tongue across her lips. She gasped at the feel of it. Slowly, I fought my way into her moist cavern, and when my tongue met hers, I felt a shiver run down my spine. It's a delicious, wonderful sensation and I can say that she also felt it, by the way she moaned softly. That little sound she made urged me on to continue pleasuring her.

"Malfoy." She moved away from me. I can see her, all flushed. She looks so good like this. And if not for her voice, I would've kiss her again and have my way with her.

"Hmm?" I answered lazily. I turned my attention to her jaw, then moving lower to her neck. I place soft, barely there kisses and her hands move to back of my neck, toying with the ends of my hair. I inhaled her scent hungrily. It's her scent I always notice first when she enters the room. She smells fresh, like spring, and a bit of her perfume. I've always liked it. She doesn't put on those heavy perfumes that I smell in other girls that makes me dizzy.

"Mal-foy-y… oh, Merlin. W-We have to… s-stop… this-s." She says between pants, her voice raspy. But her actions tell me otherwise. Her hands on my neck rakes through my hair and she slowly tugs on it, pushing me into her more. "We're in… the… the… lib-ra-ry-y."

I chuckled softly against her neck.

"It's hardly different from the library in Hogwarts, don't you think?" I answered her huskily. I brought my face back up to her again, and I saw her eyes are wide and her face full of disbelief. Just like that she went back to what she was before I kissed her.

She untangled her hands from my hair but I stop her before she completely removes them. "Don't." I said. She looked at me questioningly. "I'm not planning to let you get away from my grasp, so you might as well hold me like that."

She just stood there, with that look of confusion. Though I'm thankful she didn't move away from me, or remove her hands, her body became tense from their relaxed position just seconds ago. Her eyes looked different. And her flushed face went back to their normal colour.

"So I guess you still don't want to talk about that huh?" I tried to talk to her about this so many months ago but I never really got the nerve to do so. And I always think about what I'm going to say, because actually I do not know if she wants to talk about it or if she wants to forget it like it never happened, that she didn't think it was a big deal. But I know girls. I mean some. I've been in a few relationships before, though all of them started the same way: a kiss in the hallway, at Hogsmeade, or anywhere I can get someone I think looks good enough for me. Then after a kiss, or a heated snog, the girl wouldn't be able to leave my side anymore and that's when she'll tell me she thinks we should make it official. Girls are possessive. They like everyone to know what's theirs. Especially if the one they think they own is wanted by most of the entire female population at Hogwarts. So just like that, I'm someone's boyfriend. Not that I mind, as long as I get to kiss her, and if she thinks she's ready, do something more than snog. Don't take me wrong. I don't use them, or play with their hearts. It's not like they have real feelings for me anyway. They just want a snog, or a shag, because everyone knows I'm so good at those things. And I never forced anyone into doing things for me. If they don't like to, then we'll stop it. Time to find someone else.

But then there's this one afternoon months after the war. It's Hogsmeade week. I planned to ask Pansy to go with me. We've been going out for a while now. Not that type of relationship I said before. This is kind of different. First, it's not Pansy who showed interest in me. I mean, she looks at me like other girls, but he doesn't look like she wants to kiss me or something else. It's me who sought her out. First time I did. Then eventually, she also fell for me. Not that I love her or anything (we both hate that word). Just like sort of an attraction. And I seriously think things are going well for us.

That morning, I looked for her in the Great Hall. I spotted her seating with Greengrass and Bulstrode. I came up to them.

"Hey." I whispered in her ear and sat next to her. I wound my hand on her waist, and held her closer to me. She smiled and looked up to me. "Hey, too."

"Got any plans with them?" I asked, gesturing to the girls, who are now looking pretty envious of the way I treat her. She's just different from the other girls. They just like to kiss me or pleasure me or have them be touched by me. But Pansy isn't. We haven't even done anything past snogging. And surprisingly, I'm just fine with it. I think things are different when they are real. You begin to understand things, and take them slowly.

"No. Not really." She answered. Then she smirked. "Why?"

She really is a Slytherin.

"Come to Hogsmeade with me." I still am a bit shy when I ask her these things. And she really enjoys it.

"Hmm? Let me think about it." She looked pleased with herself when she said this, but she immediately laughed when she saw my disbelieving expression. "Okay. Okay. I'll go with you. I was only kidding."

I tried to look angry, but I can't. I just half glared at her. When I leaned in to kiss her on the lips though, she turned her head away. "Uhm, I don't think we should do that here."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"It's that…" She sent a look to her two friends, who are pretending to chat about an article in the Witch Weekly but who are throwing us looks every five seconds.

"Oh. Guess you don't like them to see just how good of a kisser am I, right?" I looked smug, but I was only joking. Pansy tends to be really shy most times. Like she doesn't want to be seen kissing with me in public. I understand though. Like I said, she's different.

She looked at me with raised eyebrows, but smiles.

"Okay then. I'll see you later." Instead, I just gave her a peck on the cheek. Something I've never done before. Except to my mother. But that isn't like this.

Inside, I was all happy that I've got this girl and that I am trying my best to show her that she's special for me.

Too bad I didn't saw her looking straight at someone by the door when my lips land on her cheek.

That afternoon, after looking at myself once more at the mirror, checking that I still look perfect, I made my way up from the dungeons and straight to the Hall. Pansy said she'll just meet me there.

There are few other students like me who looked like they are waiting for someone. I just leaned against the cold wall and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And finally, I saw her emerge from a corridor. I heaved a sigh of relief, because I got this feeling she'll never show up and I'll just stand here looking like an idiot. I thought to myself, if she doesn't appear in five minutes, I'll go back to the dungeons, and look for her. I understand that girls took time prepping and fixing themselves. But this feeling is different. Like she wouldn't show up. Or something strange. But, there she was. I have to stop myself from smiling and waving for her, because really, Malfoy's don't do that, and she can definitely see me among the small crowd because I am a Malfoy and do we stand out.

She looked from right to left, and then her eyes caught mine.

But then someone suddenly appeared beside her, held her like I've always done, and kissed her.

There, in the middle of the hallway.

Usually, I wouldn't find this surprising, because a lot of couples, even me, had snog in public, especially the Hall. No one around seems to mind.

But this is different because it's my fucking girlfriend, and another guy is kissing her, and she's not fighting it. Damn, she actually looks like she's enjoying it when I saw her hands go around his nape. Then I saw that the one thrusting his tongue in her mouth is Zabini. Fucking Zabini. She's letting this arsehole snog her in public!

The aura buzzing around me seemed to scare everyone of for when I stormed my way through, students around started avoiding me. I am so fucking mad when I reached them I grabbed the back of Zabini's shirt and hurled him away from Pansy. When he saw me standing in front of him, I didn't give him a chance to even prepare himself for the hardest blow he will ever receive. I slammed my fist right in his right cheek. And I didn't stop there. He also received another blow on his chin. But he seemed to understand what was happening and also tried to hit me in the face. I took a step back just in case, and he missed.

Pansy, upon recovering from her shock, immediately went in between us, and spread her arms to put distance between us.

"Stop it!" She was crying against us two struggling men. Zabini has blood on his cheek, and it seems like I've also broken his jaw. Good. The git deserves it. Then Pansy turned around to face Zabini and held his face in her hands. "Stop it. Please. Don't make this any worse than it is. Look at you. All bloodied up."

This didn't really surprised me anymore, seeing as a while ago she was willingly kissing the hell out of the bastard. Right in front of me, in the middle of the hallway. Everyone knows we've been going out, so they must now understand what was happening.

Or, the undeniable truth that I've been cheated on.

But I don't think that's really it.

Pansy turned around and looked at me, her face all blotchy and her eyes pleading.

"Draco… I-I am so… s-sorry. I didn't mean f-for any of this-s to… to happen. You… you a-approached m-me first. And I… I just thought maybe… maybe Blaise would come b-back t-to me if he… if he saw y-you making a move…on me." Half of what she said have been nothing but a indiscernible sound, with her hiccupping and sniffing. But I got it.

Fuck. I more than get it.

I was fucking used.

And that was even worse than being cheated on. Because this means she never did saw me but an end to get back on her boyfriend.

"I-I am s-so… s-so… sorry, Drac-o."

Her voice has some sincerity in it, but I can't be sure. It must be regret. It must be pity. But that's the last thing I need now. For her to act like this has all been unintentional, and that it's not her fault, because like she said I'm the one who approached her. The last thing I need is to have her feeling sad because this happened, and have her showing sympathy.

She's still looking at me. Zabini is still glaring at me. And everyone is still staring at me.

Just what I want.

Everyone to know that I've been used by a girl. And have them showing sympathy for me.

Bloody fucking fantastic.

Without saying anything, I walked out of the scene, made my way to the stairs, where everyone gladly took their distance from me. I am not going back to the dungeon, because that's exactly where they expect a troubled seventh year to go after realizing he's been used. Lock himself in a room, throw things around, or maybe cry.

But I am not crying.

I am not shedding tears for that woman.

For that bitch.

So I continue up the stairs, and then reached the right corridor. It's empty here.

Because seriously, who would spend their Saturday afternoon in a library? Much less on a Hogsmeade weekend.

My feet brought me to the double doors, and I swung them heavily, which caused the librarian to look at me with disdain.

"Mr. Malfoy, I believe you are aware that this is a library, a place of quiet, so if you please, stop making such grand entrances with that much noise." She glared at me when she said this, but went back to want she was doing on her desk. Then she seemed to forgot something, stood up, gathered some of the parchments and walking out the door, muttering something about "incomplete signatures" and "lazy owls not doing their job right".

I looked around. It's empty. Well, not really. As much as I want to spend my time alone (even with the librarian around because she knows nothing of my business and she only looks at me when I disrupt the silence), someone is also there.

Take a lucky guess.

This is why she always beats me in classes. Because she never really hangs out with people. She spends time with her books. Reading and reading, and obviously not even Hogsmeade weekend can stop her.

I made my way to her table, which is at the back.

Now I can take my anger on someone instead of thinking about what the hell just happened to me.

"Well, well, well." I drawled, my voice startling her. "What do we have here? Weasel didn't ask you out to Hogsmeade?" I gave her my best derogatory smirk. She looked like I've gotten that one right, but then regained her composure, and retorted back.

"What about you Malfoy? Don't tell me Parkinson got tired of you already? My, my. How things easily change." She glared at me before looking smug.

Ouch.

Didn't that hurt.

Here I am, in the library with Granger, whom I suppose to bully into crying, for me to forget that I've just been played a fool, and look at what happened.

My anger, which hadn't really gone, came right back full force. I can feel it firing me up. With adrenaline rushing up my veins, I stormed to where she was sitting, yanked her up, and slammed my mouth into hers.

Because of the blinding anger, I didn't exactly realize that it was Hermione know-it-all Granger whose lips are pressed against mine. I'm supposed to call her names, to insult her friends. To make her miserable. But damn, really. The feel of those lips is so fucking good. I was about to coax her to open her mouth for me, when she bit my lower lip. Hard. That made me half groaned, half gasp. She took that opportunity to thrust into my mouth, and feel my teeth, my gums, before going for my own tongue, and battling for dominance. Her hands made their way to my chest, my shoulders, and my back, before resting on the back of my neck, tugging on the ends of my hair.

What the fuck is happening?

I was surprised by this reaction. Hell, I was dumbfounded. I just stood there, letting her have her way with my mouth. I've never let any woman take the upper hand like this. I like being in control. But this is Granger. She isn't supposed to know how to this.

Bringing one hand to her hair, the other to rest at her hips, I slowly broke the kiss. Although deep inside I was really enjoying it, I had to know why she is doing this. As I said, I don't force anyone. And I don't want Potty and Weasel to think I've been molesting their princess when she's the one shoving her tongue down my throat. I really didn't plan this in the first place, but when our lips touched, there's this jolt of electricity that's different from the anger I am feeling that caused me to shiver.

However, I am still not able to focus on my words because she just ran her tongue down my jaw, licking her way to my neck, and to my pulse point. Just as I was about to stop her, she locked her lips on it, and started sucking. I threw my head back to give her more access, and the hand buried in her head pushed her even closer. Meanwhile, her hands move from their position on my nape, then began making their way down, stopping on the hem of my polo shirt, going under it, and moving up again, caressing my torso.

The feel of her small hands on my bare flesh almost sent all my blood to my groin. I am unable to process anything but her lips and her hands on my skin. No one has ever made me feel this way before. She's not doing that much yet but I feel like I'm coming close to the edge already.

Suddenly, she just stopped; removed her lips from my neck and her hands out of my shirt. She also grabbed my hands and detached them from her. I was still in a bit of a haze because of the sensations. She looked at me in the eye and said, "Enjoyed that, Malfoy? Now you might start thinking twice before starting something like that. Bet I got you, didn't I? And looks like the rumours about you being great are just that: rumours. I'm surprised Parkinson didn't leave you yet." With that, she tried to make her hair look presentable, gathered her notes and books, and left.

Merlin.

What the hell is wrong with me?

After maybe ten minutes, I've slowly regained full control over my mind. Everything seemed muddled, so I try to remember. Not that I really want to. I just want to forget, and that was my real intention when I approached Granger with the purpose of making her cry. But after what just transpired between us, it's hard to tell if that was true, or it's something I imagined. Or if someone is playing tricks on me because certainly this is just one fucked-up day.

My girlfriend kissed another guy. I punched him. My girlfriend interfered. She said she just used me to get back with him. I felt mad. I walked away. I went to the library where I saw Granger. I planned to hurt her, but she end up doing that to me. So I tried to kiss her to shut her up. But she did something I wasn't expecting. She kissed me back, used her tongue, sucked on my pulse point, and ran her hands down my bare flesh. Then she stopped. And left me.

Fuck this.

I returned to my room down the dungeons after that, thankful that no one stared at me. And that I didn't see either Pansy or Zabini. Or Granger.

All of my roommates are gone, so I have the room to myself. It's only Zabini and Nott though, and I think they're going to spend the night on another woman's bed. The one particularly on my latest ex-girlfriend's bed.

That night, I didn't sleep.

The next day, I heard from some Gryffindors whispering down the hall that Weasley and Granger broke up yesterday. Apparently, she saw him snogging someone named Brown in an unused room that morning, but had been a coward to show herself. Later in their common room, when Weasley was approaching her, she just shrugged him off. When he asked her what's the problem, she became hysterical and started yelling at him. At first, he tried to deny her accusations. But Granger wasn't having any of it. She just said that they're finished and that. But Weasley had to have the last word. He said that if she weren't such a prude, he wouldn't get bored with her. She slapped him and left, leaving him standing in the middle of the common room.

Well, isn't that something. Not only me, but Granger also had it rough yesterday. But what really caught my attention was the fact that Granger knew how to kiss. And if Weasley was complaining about that, then he is a complete moron.

Or maybe, he never knew Granger could kiss like that.

All of this swam in my mind while I was trying to think of how to say these things I've always wanted to say. I kept them secret for so long. Now that we are in a library again, where it all began, I think it's time to bring up this conversation because I don't know if I could still take it if she walks away from me again.

"That time in the library. Why?" I didn't know if a question was the proper way to start this, but I just can't think properly. Like her, I just tried to forget what happened even if I'm dying to know why it happened at all. What was the reason? But I just can't. I always remember. In every other girl I kissed after. At first I thought I'm just physically attracted to her. It's normal. I acknowledge that Granger indeed looks beautiful. But I realized it wasn't just that. If I just wanted a quick shag, I could have thrown her against her office door and take her as I please. But I didn't. After graduating, we all went for the Ministry. I still see her every day, but she's avoiding me. I also noticed that she looked different. She's more engrossed in work, in researches. She barely hangs out with her friends. Even Potter. She seemed to forget that there is life outside the Ministry. The only time I see her with them and not wearing hideous robes is during Ministry functions and balls, and they are all work related. I believe she refused to live outside of this anymore.

And that's when I understand it. I didn't just have physical feelings for her, and it's too early to say that it's something deep, but I can safely say it's more than that. I asked myself why I didn't just make a move and force myself on her. And it's because if I did, and she just went along, it'd be wrong. Because I have to let her think about herself. To evaluate. To not jump and make more mistakes. Like myself. We're both victims. We've both had our losses. And if we just got impulsive and reckless, it'd just make things worse. I know it'd been hard for her. It's been hard for me too. Having a girlfriend you really care about throw you away after using you hurt. Not that I loved her. I knew it'd be worse if that's the case, but I just came to like her and miss her when she isn't around. She'd been like a friend. My best friend. Someone I told what my dreams were about. Someone I actually think I could spend my time with after school.

And if that's what it felt like for me, I can only wonder how it felt like for Granger, seeing as Weasley was her first boyfriend. And more importantly, one of her best friends.

It's been more than a year now since that first time at the library. I think I can now open up and tell her these things. So when she approached me about this project and collaborating with me, I couldn't let it pass.

"That was… that was… that never should've happened." She tried to escape from me once again, but she still can't.

"Well, a part of me agrees with you while the other part disagrees." She stopped squirming after I said it, confusion once again painted in her face. I tried to make her look straight at my eyes, but she wouldn't.

"Look, the part that agrees say that was wrong for us, for you especially, when it looks like you never kissed your boyfriend like that before. He's not really your boyfriend anymore that time, but it seems like part of the reason he broke up with you was that he never felt special for you. He might never have cheated on you if you've just made him feel like he's good enough for you." I was trying really hard to make her listen to me, to believe me, and the sincerity of my words. She looked a bit shocked when she realized I knew this much about her.

"While the other part that disagrees," I looked down, not ready to meet her eyes yet, "a part of me actually hopes you mean something more than that. I mean, liked you kissed me and you mean it, not just because you feel Weasley's been ignoring you and you need someone to look at you that way." There's silence after that. Then she replied.

"Uhm… I… didn't think you'd know that much about what happened with me and Ron. Honestly, I didn't know what happened with you and Parkinson until the day after. I… I'm sorry for acting that way. I mean, it was wrong, when we've both been just betrayed. And we thought we'd feel better if we hurt someone too." She said the next part more softly, and like every word pains her.

"Yes, I've never kissed Ron like that before. There's this time when I think he got bored with me. We're not always physical. Our relationship had been founded on friendship. But maybe he can't find a way to differentiate it. Like, it still feels like we're just friends. Like our relationship is only a name. He feels like I'm treating him the same way I treat Harry. So we tried to do a lot of kissing. It was really awkward at first. But we managed. There were lots of heated snogs. But that's all. After that, I felt wrong. Like I shouldn't feel like this with my boyfriend. Like I should think about shagging him, not stopping. But I can't say anything to him. I can't. I don't want to lose our friendship. I just want us back, as friends. So I think if I pretend for longer, it will pass away. But it didn't get any better. So I started getting less enthusiastic in our snogging sessions. Ron never complained about my skills. He knows I've never done that much before. But I guessed he noticed me getting more… detached. And then it just stopped altogether. He stopped initiating kisses." She looked really uncomfortable talking about this. But we both know it's important if we want to understand things.

"We never talked about it. That's the problem. We didn't broke things off yet. Maybe we just both needed time. I started to think he already found someone else. But I refuse to believe it. Then I just saw him and Lavender in that room, and even though I already had my suspicions, I didn't think it'd hurt me that much. But he's my best friend. Even though I don't feel like his girlfriend anymore. I still feel like he cheated on me, because he never told me. So after I slapped him, I went to the library and decided to take my mind off things by studying. Then you came. And when what you said hit close to the truth, I got angry. I just said that thing about Parkinson because I thought that would have the same effect on you as what you said to me. So when you got angry, and… kissed me, I just let the adrenaline think. I just had the urge to do something reckless. I wasn't particularly aware of what I was doing. I just want you to stop being a jerk, and I thought kissing you back would confuse you. A part of me hoped you would push me away instantly, but the other wished you would hold me still. But when I heard your sounds of… pleasure, I had this crazy idea of getting back at you." I turned my face up to look at her when she got to the part about the library, but like me before, she turned her gaze down. Hearing her story made me understand things better.

Then she asked me. "Why didn't you talk to me after that?"

"I feel like we both needed space. And if I just came to you, you'll think I am only interested in you physically. I don't want you to think that. And really, you're avoiding me so what can I do? So when you went to me for this project, I took the chance." I looked into her eyes, and tried my best to make her believe me.

She just answered, "Me too."

I dared again, with a hopeful look in my eyes, "So you're saying it was more than just a kiss for you?"

With a smile, she replied, "Yes, Malfoy. It's more than just a kiss for me."

I sighed in relief. Relieved because she didn't walk away. Relieved because she trust me enough to tell me what she feels. Relieved because I mean the same to her.

I held her closer so her head is against my chest. I even confessed, "When I meant you're still the same, it's because I've always watched you after the war. You might say that I have a girlfriend. But whenever you're around, I can't help but look at you." I can feel her smirk against me. Then, "Actually, I also noticed you after the war. That's when I admitted to myself you actually look good."

"You're very good for my ego, Granger."

She let out a laugh. And asked rather playfully, "Are you actually scared I will reject you?"

I held her chin in my hand and turned it to face me. "You won't reject me, Granger. You're obviously waiting for me. You've never been to any dates since then." I looked smug when I said it.

She just smacked me lightly, and whispered, "Why don't you give me a reason why I shouldn't leave you now."

I smirked. "That's easy."

I leaned in and caught her mouth once more. Kissing her always feels heavenly. With her lips pressed against mine, and her hands tangled up in my hair. I turned us around so her back is against the row of books. Gently, I nipped at her bottom lip, and was rewarded by a moan. I took the chance to slip my tongue in her mouth, and sought hers. She tasted sweet and a bit of the cheese from her afternoon snack.

My hands looked for the strings of her large robe, untied it, and pushed them off her shoulders. She hastily did the same with mine while never breaking the kiss. Her hands went to the knot of my tie, and started pulling on it. Since I could do it faster, I undid it quickly. When she was satisfied, she began working her way through the buttons of my shirt. Not wanting to let her have the upper hand, I latched my mouth on her neck, and gently sucked. It distracted her.

"Cheater." She gasped. I just smirked. While her hands clutched at my half unbuttoned shirt, I took the chance to undress her too. She's wearing a cream coloured blouse, and a very unflattering beige skirt.

When I reached the third button, I saw a glimpse of her black laced bra. My hands stopped on their descent. I felt myself growing hard at the moment.

Then it was her turn to smirk. "Like what you see, Malfoy?"

She resumed unbuttoning my shirt. When she finished, she run her hands on my torso. Her eyes looked like she's memorizing every muscle, every dip. Too see me clearly, she pushed them off my shoulders also, and was added to the pile on the floor.

She run her hands across my chest, my shoulders, and down my back. I took it as my cue to continue exploring her. I breathed on her neck, just above her pulse point, and bit. Her moans filled my ears, and she lightly scraped her nails on my back. Her legs wrapped themselves around my waist, the heels of her moderate shoes digging at the top of my trousers.

When I finished unbuttoning her blouse, my mouth followed a trail downwards. My tongue darted out to lick the top of her breasts-

"Merlin."

It wasn't Granger who cursed. So it must be…

Oh crap.

I'll just have to fire my assistant, and get a bloke to replace her.

Granger wouldn't let me keep her for sure.

* * *

If you have anything to say, please leave a review, and I'll get back to you.

I personally think this sucks though.

But really, thanks for reading!


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